Zions and Bryce Canyon National Parks

At the end of September/early October Jarod and I went on a trip to Southern Utah. We wanted to see some of the National Parks and have one last weekend getaway while I wasn't too pregnant to travel. We stayed in St. George and went to Zions National Park first. There were so many beautiful scences and so many pictures but here are a couple of our favorites.

Love the ginormous arch-this was one of many we saw but definately the biggest. We also went through a tunnel that was over a mile long. It was built in the 1920's so it was really small and they only let traffic through one way at a time. It was really neat-they had holes in the tunnel looking out and you could see amazing cliffs and rocks. We had to drive up hundreds of feet of switchbacks to even get to the tunnel (it was little nerve racking). The arch in the picture above was taken on our way up the switchbacks. Zions is very well maintained and they have a shuttle system through part of the park. We parked our car and took the shuttle up the main canyon and got off at all the spots and walked around and looked at all the amazing cliffs-truly a beautiful place.

We also went to the St. George temple and the visitors center they have there. They had just finished painting the temple and it was so bright white! The St. George temple has so much history as the first temple finished in Utah. Something new I learned was that Brigham Young never like the original steeple that was on the temple (it was a lot smaller and looked a little strange on such a big building). Only a few days after he died a lightening storm hit the temple and burned just the steeple down so they had to rebuild it. Everyone says Brigham eventually got his way even after he died.

Bryce Canyon is really an incredible place. The formations of the rocks are breathe taking. There are all of these little peaks and spires for the freezing and thawing of water through the ages and there are just views for miles of all this peaks. Everything is so red from all the iron so things just glow in the sun. Its really amazing that all of this is so high up-we were at 10,000 ft above sea level looking down into the canyon. The park has on main long road with several vantage points along the way. Here are a couple of the amazing views we shared at Bryce Canyon National Park.

This rock has a complete hole through it-so cool!

WICKED!

Sorry for the long time between posts-life gets crazy as everyone knows. Jarod and I were lucky enough to see Wicked a few months ago and loved it! Jarod had never been to a Broadway play before and was really impressed with the music and sets and everything. I felt like I just sat there with a smile on my face the whole time-enjoying every minute. Jarod has definately been converted to the thrill and excitement of Broadway so I am excited about that-now if only we could afford the tickets more often.

Thoughts...

This was written by a friend who lost her baby only a few days after we lost Hope for her daughter's first birthday. I feel that it expresses a lot of how I feel but haven't been able to explain. I thought this was a great way to follow up my previous post about Hope's Birthday.

On the day you were born; not a sound was heard; not a word was spoken
I held you in my arms and my heart was forever broken
I looked into your beautiful face and begged you to cry, open your eyes, and look at me
It just had to be a lie. There must be some mistake; babies aren't supposed to die
We had so many plans for you,
My little girl you would be, and Daddy's little princess
Oh, the things for you to see;
the lullaby's for you to hear; hugs and kisses to be given
How today and every day, I wish that you were living.
Your life was meant to be; no matter what they say
and though tragically your life was not; in my heart you will always stay.
Our arms can't hold you now, since you have left this world
but you will always be Daddy's princess and my sweet little girl.
So today I sing "Happy birthday" as tears fill my eyes and I weep
Please know my tears are not because of you, but because no matter how much I wanted to
"You" I could not keep.
Sleep well my angel until we meet again.

by Jennifer for Kayleigh on her birthday

One year ago...

One year ago we welcomed Hope Maxine Rollins into our family and we had to say good bye too soon.

We finally got a headstone to mark her grave. We did it in bronze and its beautiful. There are scrolling vines and flowers and even a little ladybug.

We brought her a cupcake and also some balloons with messages and released them into the sky.

We miss Hope everyday and think about her always. Its hard to not feel like a complete family with a piece of us missing but we think about the promise that families can be together forever and wish for forever to be here soon.

New Scam to Watch Out For...

On the news this morning they talked about a new internet scam the FBI is warning about and everyone needs to watch out for. The scammers send you an email that's titled "Really Funny Picture" or something similar and once you open it they can see everything you type. They than can access your email accounts, facebook, etc. because they can get see your username and password that you use. They than start to contact all of your friends and family through your accounts and tell them that you are in trouble, got mugged, lost your wallet, etc. and that you need to wire them money. The scary thing about this scam is that your friends and family really think that it is you because its coming from your email or facebook. Please pass on this information to everyone and just remember never open email from someone you don't know even if the title of the email sounds legitimate.

20 Week Ultrasound

So we are offically halfway there-phew! Today we had our 20 week ultrasound with the Perinatologist at Timpanogos Regional Hospital. I really liked the doctor we met with. He was really easy to talk with and seemed to understand how stressful and anxious this pregnancy is. He said everything on the ultrasound looked great, he spent a lot of time looking at her heart and all her body parts and organs and such and didn't find anything that seemed concerning. We talked about one of my blood tests that had come back positive. Its called MTHFR (is short for some super long word that I can't say-Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase). Anyway, this is a chromosomal mutation that apparently is really common (like 40% of the population has this) and there are varying degrees of severity. One can have one copy or two copies of the mutation and there is an A mutation and a C mutation that those copies can be (this is all my understanding and may be very primitive but hopefully its fairly accurate). I have only one copy of the mutation and its the A mutation. The C mutation is the one that makes doctors more concerned as well as having 2 copies (so that is good I guess that I don't have those). Basically MTHFR can affect the way your body absorbs folic acid and uses it in your blood. It can lead to clotting problems, low birth weight, possible issues with the placenta not function well because of the clotting (which then leads to low birth weight). Anyway, I never showed signs of blood clots and there were none in the placenta or umbilical cord with Hope. She was a normal weight and length for a newborn so all in all they really don't think MTHFR had anything to do with this but of course we don't know what happened so everything is on the table. The treatment for MTHFR is super simple, 4 mg of folic acid + a baby aspirin daily, so the doctor said I could take that if I wanted since it wouldn't hurt but who knows if it really will help either since that may not be a problem at all. I have already been taking extra folic acid since my regular doctor said it wouldn't hurt while we were waiting to find out what the high risk doctor thought. I will go back to see the Perinatologst in 2 months and than I will see them once a month until we have the baby. Just having extra eyes and ears watching (especially when they are a specialist) is really nice and reassuring.

I was getting kind of nervous about this appointment since its always nerve racking to see a new doctor plus my neighbor recently lost her 4th child (this was her 3rd lose, she lost twin girls at birth and has one living son) and she found out about losing this last baby at her 20 week ultrasound. Everyday there is a reminder that I need to be grateful for what I have and for the children that I have (no matter how long it is I get to keep them-at least in this life). Jarod and I use our doppler almost everyday and that is such a precious time to just let the anxiety fall away for a few minutes. I struggle everyday to remind myself to just deal with this moment, this day. When I think about the future I start to panic and the anxiety can get out of control (luckily I feel that I have done much better handling my anxiety than I did earlier this year-which has surprised me).

Jarod is doing great with his landscaping job. His stamina has improved and they have been working on some different jobsites that have been a little easier than the one he started on. Some days they work more than 12 hours to get a job done so sometimes we hardly see each other but we are so glad he has a job for now. He is still continuing to look for a different job that can be more permanent and is more pertinent to his education so we are crossing our fingers.